"The tests never end ..." Some time ago I told you the story of Bianca, her marriage with Alexander, their children, especially Gabriel, and the belly that White wore with pride and joy, for this new child would be been born in February ... and instead he surprised everyone to have anticipated his birth on 25 December, as the most beautiful Christmas presents! We wanted to continue that conversation started in October, we wondered why the strength of this mother, his faith, his active participation in the events of life. We wondered the peaceful way in which he had experienced the illness and death of little Gabriel, who lived only 34 days. And so the dialogue continues, with our questions, respectful, reverent, and his answers, calm, serene ...
White, Michele has arrived and has already made two months. What emotions did you feel in it? You realize immediately that it was a different child, or have struggled not to confuse it with the child that you hardly had time to tighten the arms, the little Gabriel?
I was often afraid of this, during the pregnancy. I was afraid my reaction, and wondered "I can give love, or will I always thought toward the other child? "... Every day I was tormented by this fear. But when I saw him I melted like the two previous times, I immediately felt that this life was unique and unrepeatable, once again. "
Having lost a child to a serious disease, how you live everyday with a healthy baby ... thank God you're a mother anxious now?
'm happy, because I live day by day. The greatest gift that I was Gabriel with her life, and even his death, is not to attack the heart to the people and things. I live each day as a gift, as if it were always the last one. This allows me to stay lucid and at peace, dealing with things when they come, not worrying unnecessarily. Sometimes I look at my son and I seem to dream, I wondering if it's true.
Vanessa, your daughter, now seven years: How is the relationship with this brother after so long awaited, and after suffering the void left by Gabriel?
She is like a mother to him, he is very happy, thanks to the Lord. The other day he took Michael in her arms and staring, she said "I'll protect you forever."
Vanessa Gabriele had time to know just the night before he died, was almost a godsend ... I caught a glimpse as he was led to make a resonance ... never speak to him?
Yes, very often, says that she misses. She was very clear that Michael and Gabriel are two different people. A few days ago we passed the cemetery, they decided to go, and before the tomb of the brother, she started to tell the newcomer. She told him "Michael will be great when you talk to him, tell him your story." Then calmly she started to clean the plaque from leaves, arranging the plants ... with love and care. The same care and attention to the newcomer, when he wants to change his diaper.
has a maturity unusual for a child so small. From what follows, in your opinion?
I think depends on how we live has seen the loss of Gabriel. He lived by the protagonist, we have not set aside, was also his pain, not just ours. She was able to process your grief, in his way. Sometimes when you see me sad, she says "Mom do not be sad, smile." She gives me joy and strength. I thank God that the death of Gabriele happened when I had Vanessa. If I had not had her, I do not know if I would have made to get out. She forced me to live, to think even his own, of suffering, to continue my pregnancy. We both made strong. Even during this pregnancy when I went to the morphological, she has "heard" the importance of what was going on and the load of anxiety which I take on. On my return, timidly asked me, 'Mom, then ...? ". And when I told her that her brother was fine, he jumped for joy.
White, one day someone said exams never end . Today you are at the gates of another event very strong and painful: the departure of your husband (police officer paratrooper, ed) for Afghanistan next week. How are you living now?
When I heard, I got it bad ... but now I'm giving it strength. In these four months I'll have to think about my children ... will pass away, my children give me strength and, as always, do not kindle the TV to watch the news!
These missions are considered important by many leaders of our country ... there are people who need our military, but for you the wives lived is another. What would you say to those who have the power to send or bring back those guys?
I would tell them that divide families. There is a utility for sure, because the Italians are always in the forefront when it comes to helping other people, but unfortunately the price you pay is often too high for families. These days, with the loss of Ranzani, another soldier, my heart bled and I immediately prayed, saying, "Lord, I hope you bring my husband home on foot."
're still very young, you have 32 years, the same ... I think your husband want more children?
Frankly no!, Because whereas those lost prematurely with spontaneous abortions, we have designed a total of seven children. I would not others, not having to undergo other operations, having already made two caesareans and other vicissitudes. Of course if it were to get another child who escapes to the programs, however, would welcome him with joy!
And this, dear friends, is the 'optimism Bianca, what else does not mean that a healthy confidence in life. Trust that we should all learn to have, based on the knowledge that every event in our lives, even the most painful, is the bearer of good news . News we want to help contribute to even tell you to live immersed in this trust, in this serenity.
Sabrina Pietrangeli Paluzzi